I’m convinced I’m an ambivert – but regardless of whether or
not I’m an introvert or an extrovert, one thing I know I am is awkward when it comes to small talk. Friends
tell me I’m not awkward, but a) that’s because we’re friends and I’m not
awkward around them and b) even if I’m somewhat successful in not coming off as awkward – I feel awkward when I’m forced into small
talk.
Recently, I’ve been kind of sort of most definitely obsessed
with this blog called Just The Elevator Pitch. You kind of sort of most
definitely NEED to check it out. You’ll be hooked and probably never have time
to come back and read my blog, but that’s a chance I’m willing to take because
Nicole’s blog is just that damn great.
Anywho – she came up with a genius way of figuring out, “AmI Good At Small Talk?”
Going into this exercise, I am fully expecting that answer
to be a big fat nope. How am I going to find out? Going through the Google
Trends page to see what the most searched topic of each of the past 30 days was.
And seeing if I know anything about it at all.
Facebook Privacy
Unfortunately, my newsfeed has been overrun with people under the false
assumption that anything they put on the internet is private. I truly question
the collective intelligence of our society when trends like this pop up. And I’m
shocked that across the country, “Channel 13 News” is discussing these “changes”
to Facebook’s privacy policy. Because where I’m from, I’m pretty sure that
channel 13 is PBS and all they’re showing is Arthur and Curious George.
Mars
I know now that boys are not from Mars. And that Mars Bars are quite delicious.
I’ve also heard the news that there’s water on Mars.
Lunar Eclipse
As my dad texted me on Sunday night, telling me I HAD to look out my window and
look at the moon, I had a sudden moment of sadness when I realized if I got out
of bed and looked out my window – all I would see were buildings.
iPhone 6S
Why people think it’s fun to stand in absurd lines on the day new Apple
products are released I will never know – they do know there is such a thing as
pre-order right? Then again, I spent hours at the local Borders to get my hands
on Harry Potter Books the second the clock struck midnight. So who am I to
judge?
Thursday Night Football
My football knowledge leaves much to be desired.
Autumnal Equinox
I don’t know what it means scientifically except that my favorite season is over and it’s going to get cold out. And also that when engaging in small talk – it’s best to avoid talking about the weather unless you want to seem seriously inept.
Scream Queens
Thursday Night Football
My football knowledge leaves much to be desired.
Autumnal Equinox
I don’t know what it means scientifically except that my favorite season is over and it’s going to get cold out. And also that when engaging in small talk – it’s best to avoid talking about the weather unless you want to seem seriously inept.
Scream Queens
I got nothin’. A Google search (ironic) informs me that it’s a movie – I’m not
a movie person. Which would be the perfect
small talk topic in many situations. Bummer.
Autumnal Equinox
#1 Trending Search twice in a week? Still not something I’d bring up at a party.
Emmys 2015
I don’t go to the movies and I don’t have cable – so my ability to discuss things in the world of popular culture is extremely limited.
Alabama Football
Autumnal Equinox
#1 Trending Search twice in a week? Still not something I’d bring up at a party.
Emmys 2015
I don’t go to the movies and I don’t have cable – so my ability to discuss things in the world of popular culture is extremely limited.
Alabama Football
I got nothin’.
Zoey 101
Zoey 101
Hey, I know what this is! No clue why it’s a trending topic though…not to
mention that if I were to bring this up in small talk in would almost certainly
result in awkwardness.
Denver Broncos
Can we just get hockey season started?
Republican Debate We watched the first one as a fun family vacation activity, but the second one – no thanks.
Snapchat Update
YES! I could definitely sustain a conversation about the new Snapchat selfie filters for a solid 5 minutes. I would also mention that I recently captured an EPIC video for my Snapchat story which involved a biker SCREAMING at a cabby.
49ers
Sheesh. Whatever happened to baseball being America’s favorite pastime?
NFL Scores
Denver Broncos
Can we just get hockey season started?
Republican Debate We watched the first one as a fun family vacation activity, but the second one – no thanks.
Snapchat Update
YES! I could definitely sustain a conversation about the new Snapchat selfie filters for a solid 5 minutes. I would also mention that I recently captured an EPIC video for my Snapchat story which involved a biker SCREAMING at a cabby.
49ers
Sheesh. Whatever happened to baseball being America’s favorite pastime?
NFL Scores
I’m done.
Mayweather
Mayweather
No.
Serena Williams
Serena Williams
Serena Williams is a BEAST in the best, most badass way possible. So she lost.
She’s still epic.
9/11
I think we all could have a conversation about where we were on September 11, 2001.
NFL Scores
Original.
Stephen Colbert
An incredibly talented guy that I wish I watched more of. I had the chance to attend a filming of Colbert Report a few years ago, and it was definitely an awesome experience!
Ohio State Football
Yawn.
Venus Williams
If my sister beat me at tennis, I wouldn’t be a happy camper!
Alabama Football
Oy.
Serena Williams
See above – she’s epic.
Tom Brady
Deflate Gate 2015? I didn’t follow it, but I’ve obviously heard about it. I don’t live under a rock.
Frontier Airlines
I book travel for people at work, and this airline comes up in my searches every once in a while. I have no idea why they are a trending search topic though – which probably means I don’t skim the homepage of the New York Times often enough.
Google logo History
Every now and then I’ll take note of the Google logo on the homepage and take a second to appreciate the creativity. Other days I’m like, really? That’s what you’ve got?
US Tennis Open
One day I want to buy a skort and go to the US Open. I went to tennis camp when I was younger and my mom played in high school and wanted me to follow in her footsteps. I wasn’t awful, except that field hockey was during the same season. So, sorry Mom! But tennis is fun. And fancy. And I like when it gets some love. (Get it, love?)
Miley Cyrus
YES. Let’s chat about Miley, shall we?
I think we all could have a conversation about where we were on September 11, 2001.
NFL Scores
Original.
Stephen Colbert
An incredibly talented guy that I wish I watched more of. I had the chance to attend a filming of Colbert Report a few years ago, and it was definitely an awesome experience!
Ohio State Football
Yawn.
Venus Williams
If my sister beat me at tennis, I wouldn’t be a happy camper!
Alabama Football
Oy.
Serena Williams
See above – she’s epic.
Tom Brady
Deflate Gate 2015? I didn’t follow it, but I’ve obviously heard about it. I don’t live under a rock.
Frontier Airlines
I book travel for people at work, and this airline comes up in my searches every once in a while. I have no idea why they are a trending search topic though – which probably means I don’t skim the homepage of the New York Times often enough.
Google logo History
Every now and then I’ll take note of the Google logo on the homepage and take a second to appreciate the creativity. Other days I’m like, really? That’s what you’ve got?
US Tennis Open
One day I want to buy a skort and go to the US Open. I went to tennis camp when I was younger and my mom played in high school and wanted me to follow in her footsteps. I wasn’t awful, except that field hockey was during the same season. So, sorry Mom! But tennis is fun. And fancy. And I like when it gets some love. (Get it, love?)
Miley Cyrus
YES. Let’s chat about Miley, shall we?
So I think the moral of the story is that if anyone tries to
bring up football during small talk – it’s going to be a very awkward
conversation. Same with any movies and likely television as well. Which,
apparently, is what everyone is the world is Googling in their free time.
I can discuss Miley, Snapchat filters and how annoying it is
when people post the Facebook Privacy status.
Good thing my weekend plans involve my best friend’s
birthday, quality time with my sister and limited interaction with strangers.
And maybe I should watch some football.
