Travel has come to a screeching halt. No one knows the next time they’ll walk with wonder down the streets of a new-to-them city or try a local cuisine straight from the source.

When will I write my next travel guide? (Aside from the ones that are still pending due to my laziness…) When is the next time I will hoist a carry-on into an overhead bin or eat a Biscoff cookie on a Delta flight?

A recent writing prompt encouraged me to write about my current surroundings as if they were a new travel destination. It was a fun activity to look at my childhood home through a different lens. This little home I grew up in re-imagined as a new hotel in a new land on a new adventure.

Local Customs

The residents dress very casually and comfortably. It seems that they are very big fans of the NHL as nearly everything they wear displays the League’s shield. For such big fans, there’s a definite lack of hockey on TV…

The females don’t wear a lot of makeup (or any whatsoever) and don’t seem to give much thought to things like manicures, haircuts, or the shaving of leg hair.

Apparently the plumbing here isn’t great, because I’ve been asked to dispose of my toilet paper in the garbage can instead of flushing it. Squares of TP aren’t yet being rationed, but I’ve heard it’s a possibility given a mounting shortage.

Morning coffee and afternoon tea is taken very seriously in these parts. Coffee is almost always enjoyed with a book or the newspaper and afternoon tea typically pairs with a crossword puzzle or Sudoku.

There is a lot of hand washing and hand sanitizing with an obvious lack of physical contact of any kind. No one seems to be willing to share a drink or a meal, which is sad as someone who thinks food tastes better when shared. No one hugs hello or goodbye - not even a handshake seems customary.

People seem to take a lot of vitamin C and various supplements - zinc, magnesium, echinacea, elderberry - they seem very concerned with their health.

Night Life

The locals don’t seem to have any qualms about drinking before the widely accepted 5 PM happy hour standard.

The house wine, 14 Hands Cabernet, is a definite fan favorite. The pours are heavy and frequent – glasses don’t remain empty for long thanks to an attentive waitstaff.

There are no sports playing on the TV screens. Instead, there’s an eclectic mix of news, stand-up comedy specials, Netflix documentaries and reality TV.

Some nights, there’s “live” entertainment in the form of showtunes from a livestreaming piano bar or at home performances from stars like John Legend and Mariah Carey.

When the ladies are not staining their lips and teeth purple from red wine, the bartender will mix up strong cocktails like margaritas or gin-concoctions with fresh squeezed grapefruit. The glass always comes with a fancy garnish.

The bar is never crowded, but sometimes voices pour in through FaceTime and Zoom as friends and family swap stories through cell phone screens. It’s shocking how loud a bar with three people can get.

When it’s nice out, the party gets taken outside to a nice deck. Sometimes there’s even a fire!

Cuisine

The local cuisine is very internationally inspired.

There’s been an Irish meal of corned beef, cabbage, potatoes and carrots which was later re-purposed for a delicious corned beef hash with crispy potatoes, eggs and peppers.

Greek influences led to a delicious salad with chick peas, grape leaves and tzatziki sauce.

My Mexican mood was met with shrimp tacos resplendent with pickled onions, cilantro, avocado, lime and fresh cabbage slaw.

Another night I was served pot stickers doused with a delicious sauce of soy, freshly grated garlic and ginger, pineapple juice and sesame oil. These pork pot stickers were paired with cauliflower rice and spicy kimchi for an extra kick.

All-American more your speed? The chef can grill up a burger you’d want to write home about.

While some of the locals don’t seem to appreciate meals like breakfast and lunch, the kitchen is fully stocked for people like myself who need a meal every 2 hours.

Everyone here seems to agree on a few things: chocolate Entenmann’s donuts are phenomenal and Ruffles potato chips with French Onion dip is a love language.

My favorite part is that the waitstaff knows I prefer to eat with the small utensils.

Day Trips

When people want to get away, the biggest destination seems to be a nearby beach or park to walk and run in relative tranquility.

I found a really great set of stairs to run up and down repeatedly, which is my idea of a fun day trip.

Sometimes we take a quick drive over to visit another family, but they never invite us inside. Instead, we sit far apart in their backyard. But they always have wine and chocolate waiting for us.

Gym

The lodging has a robust yet makeshift gym. Though the ceiling is low and there is a lot of obstacles (rocking chairs, fishing poles, plastic tubs filled with old clothes), there’s a decent amount of equipment to ensure a good sweat.

What to Pack

If you want to plan your own trip to this tiny house surrounded by bamboo in the middle of a Long Island suburb, make sure you bring the following:

-Sweatpants and leggings
-College and high school hoodies
-Sneakers for lots of walks
-Slipper socks
-Books
-Face masks
-Hand cream
-Sunglasses for tanning on the deck

If you want fun writing prompts sent to you email during quarantine, you can sign up for The Isolation Journals here.